I am not enough

       Our women's bible study started back last night, so I should have been prepared for the attack. I wasn't. From stomach troubles right before study began to a terrible nightmare about ruining a perfectly set cheesecake, the enemy was working. I woke up with such a wave of guilt and shame worse than any nausea, not from poor dream baking, but stupid things I did yesterday. Forgot to send a card, ate a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies (darn you tagalongs!), I didn't answer truthfully, and I had a very poorly packed diaper bag. These are just the ones I can remember and I know that more will float to the surface if I let it simmer. 

        I see the world around me- the Instagram posts of beautiful shots of people's kids eating kale all while not spilling their perfectly positioned coffee cup ( are they standing on the table?). I have had very few instances in life where I could take a picture of my kitchen table without making someone sick to their stomach by looking at what 3 years worth of yogurt and peanut butter messes does to wood. I know this is not the "real world", but as a society we live half online. Seeing these pictures and reading beautifully written prose are like being beaten with the shame stick. I hear the enemy say, "you are not enough and you never will be". I will never be enough. Never be thin or fit enough. Never have the right makeup. Never have enough time to bake. Never be featured in Instyle for my Target clearance rack fashion choices. Never have a clean house. Never keep up with my blog. And on and on and on. "I get it!" I scream, I know!
    Then the tense silence is broken by the sweetest voice I know- "these things are not what makes you enough, I AM".
     Why do I always forget my worthiness doesn't come from my ability to balance on a table and take a picture of my bible and coffee with perfect lighting all while my children play peacefully with all organic, American-made toys?
You get it, I am not enough, but I know the One who is, the One who makes me more than enough.
In Colossians 1 Paul is writing such a heartfelt letter to people he calls "God's faithful people". Oh, to be called that! He goes on to write that,
     "For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light." (Colossians 1:9-12).
      The magic words I read are "His glorious might", not "buck up girl, you need to be better".
I can't do it alone. You can try and try until you are blue in the face or having nightmares about cheesecake, but we can only live with the Lifegiver. We are QUALIFIED!
      So, this is me, not giving in to the shame and guilt, turning my eyes away from Instagram and onto the beautiful face of Jesus.
There is an old hymn that says
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace".
I have tears running down my unwashed face and relief in my heart that I am enough with Him.

JT makes 3

     Being a mom of three for almost three months now, I see that the more children you have, the longer it takes to do pretty much everything. This seems pretty obvious, but I didn't fully consider how much  longer "doing life" would take- bedtimes, bath times, meals, ect. I say this to explain why it has taken me three months to write JT's birth story, and as I type this I realize it's unnecessary to explain why it has taken a while. Three tiny humans call my house home and daily activities have pushed certain sentimental tasks by the wayside. Without further delay, and as I avoid said tiny humans' demands for more snacks, here is sweet JT's entrance into the world.

Evie and I did some shopping the day before JT was born. 

October 16th, my due date came and went, and so did my parents and josh's parents. I should have been prepared for the lengthening of daily task as I waited anxiously to go into labor and it didn't happen. Both my other children were born on their due dates so when the 16th came and went I was bewildered. Mom stayed and like the wonder woman she is helped me to take care of Judah and Evie. On Wednesday morning, I woke up to some contractions and decided to get up and see if they stuck around. After Evie's precipitous and accidental home birth, Josh was a little on edge, so he asked if I was having contractions. Before I got a chance to say, "Let's see if they stick around" he was showered, packed and had put air in the truck tires. They didn't stick, as soon as I walked around the contractions completely disappeared. The 4am wake up call just turned into an early start to the day. 

Joshua Thomas 8lbs 2oz. 21.5 inces born at 2:45 am

     On Wednesday night, my poor husband was exhausted and ready for bed. He decided to head that way around 9 and I jokingly told him that I would see him in two hours. Sure enough, around 11:30 I woke to a huge contraction and got up to walk around. My mom woke up to check on me and after four contractions I knew it was time to go, so she went to wake up Josh while I focused on not giving birth in my kitchen. We rushed to the truck and thank the Lord, made it to the hospital. After a rather lengthy check in process, I went to triage where I was admitted and waited for the coveted "natural birthing suite" to get cleaned. When we got to the room my midwife and her student were waiting on us and I was able to get into the bathtub to help with labor pains. I was so relieved to have made it to the hospital and the quiet of the early morning hours made this one of the most peaceful experiences. The room was quiet except for Josh talking with the midwives and nurse about their families and some soft music playing. I spent about 10 minutes in the tub and the contractions were in high gear. I don't remember thinking about anything but meeting JT. I pushed twice and he was out! I had him on my hands and knees. I'm not sure why but this position has always been the easiest for handling contractions and with each baby I have found myself there. I turned around to see him and kicked my leg over the umbilical cord and grabbed JT (later, my midwife said that she had never seen that move before!). He was crying so loudly that I laughed and he had his little fist tucked under his chin and he put his hand on my face. This was the moment I had been dreaming about for 9 months. He was here and I was finally able to snuggle that sweet little boy! 

Judah and Evie love their baby  

     After getting out of the tub and dried off I got checked out by my midwife. Everything was fine and I was relieved to not have any tearing or problems with delivering the placenta. I struggled getting JT to nurse right away, but the student that my midwife had with her was amazing. She helped me get him to latch and put me at ease. I was so impressed with my midwife and her student and couldn't believe how peaceful and relaxed giving birth could be! (This does not mean that I didn't feel pain-it was certainly painful, but a pain so worth it). Earlier last year we changed our insurance and I was unable to go to the doctors that I had with Judah and Evie. This turned out to be a huge blessing. Having low risk pregnancies, I didn't think it was necessary to have as much "company" as I had at Judah's birth. There were 4 or 5 doctors and nurses at my feet with him and I was on information overload. With Evie, I was scared to death, because I was giving birth in my bathroom with no medical professionals. JT's birth was exactly what I wanted. At the hospital, peace and quiet, in the tub, quick, but not scary-fast. 

   JT's birth should have given me a clue that he was going to be as easy as his birth. Josh and I joke that he's our favorite, but really he is amazing. When we got home from the hospital he slept peacefully wherever and in whatever storm of toddlers was happening at the moment. At his first doctor's appointment, he had not only gotten back to his birth weight, but he had gained a couple of ounces. At six weeks he started sleeping through the night, which for me was the most amazing thing, because that did not happen with the first two. The Lord knows what you need!

Pictures by my sweet friend Angela Reed! I absolutely love this one. 

My mom being the amazing woman she is!

At the beginning of 2017, I heard the Lord telling me that He was doing a new thing. I had no clue what this consisted of and honestly, we're still in the middle of it. Shortly after telling God that I would trust Him with this "new thing", I found out that I was pregnant. Talk about a new thing! Having three kids three and under is extremely challenging in many ways. And most days I don't do the best job of trusting God with this newness, but I am trying to appreciate it. I love this little boy so much and am amazed that my heart could stretch to love another baby so much, but it has. JT fits so perfectly into our family and I see that God's plans are so much better than my own. 

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

Top 10 Gifts New Moms Want (but don't know it yet)

Have a mom in your life that you want to shower with love? Well, this is a list of the things that I have found to make motherhood just a little bit easier. This is a list of goodies just for mom that she doesn't even know she needs yet! 

1. Slip on slippers- 

Photo credit: www.OldNavy.com

This may seem a little strange, but with my first baby I had boot slippers that were awesome and warm but required two hands to put on and that's just not realistic at 3am in the dark when you're holding a crying infant. This time around I bought myself some cute (and stylish as slippers can be) moccasin slippers from Old Navy. It's been a game-changer for those middle of the night feedings. Now, I have had two winter babies so slippers were an essential, so be mindful of the time of year that the mom you're gifting is going to give birth. If She's having summer babies you will probably opt to give her house shoes that are not as warm. 

2. Postpartum Care Kit- 

Before my second baby was born I created several "stations" around the house that contained items i knew I was going to need. The first kit was a postpartum kit that I kept in the bathroom. Having a baby does a number on your body and trying to take care of baby is hard enough, but add on top of that caring for yourself, it can be overwhelming. This kit contains all of the things that I used after having my babies, most of which I didn't know I would need until it was absolutely necessary. This kit will save Dad a trip to the store!
- Comfy and cute Pajamas: My wonderful sister-in-law brought me a cute track suit and tank tops to the hospital after I gave birth to my first. It was such a thoughtful gift!
-Bathroom essential : Dermoplast (trust me, this stuff is amazing), maxi pads, tucks, and stool softener
-Hair Ties
-Body Wash & Loofah
-Water Bottle
- Robe: This is great for the hospital! I bought a dark colored cotton robe before Judah was born and wore it at the hospital with both babies. It is perfect for staying warm and also convenient for nursing.
-Encouraging Cards: To personalize this gift, write mom some sweet words of encouragement on notecards.

3. Nursing kit

Nursing a newborn is no easy task. It's physically and emotionally draining, so a nursing kit is a perfect gift for mom.
-Nursing tank tops: I love the ones at Target (and it is best to go up a size, since the "girls" will be bigger).
-Water Bottle: Be sure to buy a water bottle that you can drink out of with one hand, not one that the lid has to be unscrewed. This will help mom get the water that she needs and save her the trouble setting baby down to open it (and keep the toddler from spilling it all over the floor).
- Nursing pads
-Nursing Cover
-Snacks: I keep a drawer of snacks beside my chair in the nursery (hidden from the toddler). When you're nursing you need extra calories so this stockpile will come in handy! Try to keep the snacks high in protein and low in sugar.
-Lanolin & Cold Packs
-Burp Cloths
-Encouraging Cards

4. Freezer meals

Photo Credit: moneysavingmom.com

Freezer meals are a great gift for mom! She still needs to feed herself and her family, along with the new baby! My favorite freezer meal is Greek Chicken Bake. My mom made it for me before Evie was born and I've eaten it a ton! It is essentially chicken breast baked in olive oil and Greek seasoning and then individual breasts are placed in freezer bags. It's perfect to put over salad or just eat alone. I am so tired most days that I want to just eat whatever junk in the fridge first, so having an already cooked meal makes life so much easier! (Make sure to follow freezer meal safety guidelines and to clearly mark the outside of the meal with what is inside and how to prepare it.)

5. Wet bags 

Photo Credit: www.applecheeks.com

Mom life is messy and chaotic! Anything you can give mom to help organize some of that disaster will be much appreciated! Wetbags are perfect for containing the mess! These bags are made with PUL (polyurethane laminate), it is a water repelling fabric that can be easily wiped clean or thrown in the washer and dryer. My favorite cloth diaper brand, Applecheeks, makes the absolute cutest wetbags and they come in three different sizes (mini zips[pictured], size 1 sac, and size 2 sac). You can order these bags from most natural parenting stores that sell Applecheeks. I keep my bathroom kit inside a wetbag and my entire diaper bag is organized using these!

6. Target gift card 

Who doesn't love a trip to Target?! I like to take little mommy-cations at Target (sans toddler). It's wonderful to just walk around with a cup of coffee and breath. 

7. Restaurant gift card 

Mom and dad are going to need to go on dates after baby, and what better way to show them some love, but paying for their meal?! Josh and I recently went on our first post-baby date and it was so much easier going, knowing that our meal was paid for!

8. Netflix subscription 

Those middle of the night nursing sessions are so much easier when you have something to look forward to! I have loved watching my favorite shows on Netflix in the middle of the night, it makes me not feel so alone and takes my mind off the lack of sleep. A gift card is a great way to shower mom with love and maybe even a list of your favorite shows. 

9. Massage gift card

My sweet husband got me gift card for a massage at Christmas and it made me cry (in a good way). Moms spend so much time wrestling toddlers, carrying laundry baskets, and holding baby that it takes a serious toll on their body. Treat mom to a massage, it will seriously rock her world.

10. Photography gift card 

Babies are stinking cute and who doesn't want beautiful pictures of their little ones?! A gift card for a photography session is such a wonderful gift for a new mom. If you are handy with a camera you could also offer to do a newborn session yourself! I took this picture of Evie with my phone and I know it would have been a lot better quality with a nice camera!  

I hope this list inspires you to give the mom in your life something thoughtful and useful. And remember, the best gift you can give is that of support and encouragement. We will take that over gift cards any day! 

Love to you and the moms in your life, 

Emily

Two under Two

I have now been a mother of two babies under the age of two for six weeks. Whew, I wasn't sure I was going to make it this long. The days have been short and the nights have been long. I have had some bad mommy moments that I'm glad are behind me. I regret the times that I've lost my temper with Judah. It's a whole different world now. Before, I was only worried that Judah was going to hurt himself, and now I'm terrified that he's going to hurt Evie. My worst moment over the last six weeks happened the first night I was alone with Judah and Evelyn. My mom had returned home and my husband was at work. Evelyn was napping in the swing and Judah and I had been playing. I started to clean up and opened the coat closet to put up some coats. All of the sudden, I hear, "catch Evie!". My stomach dropped into my shoes when I heard the wailing of my infant and looked around the corner to see a giant dog toy sitting on her lap. I don't even remember what I said to Judah, I think it was just incoherent muttering. I was so upset/confused/concerned/ticked. I cried and Evie cried and Judah cried. I felt like a failure. She was fine and hopefully, Judah is not scarred for life by his crazy mother.
   Despite the "kong incident", as we refer to it, life with two littles is pretty great. Evie is a fairly calm baby and thankfully does not require the amount of attention that Judah does.
Because, I know lots of moms struggle when their second is born, I want to share what has gotten us through this learning period.
1. Don't be afraid to ask for help-

Super Nana to the rescue

  I was scared to death at the idea of trying to keep two small children alive, so scared that I had no shame when I asked my mom to stay for an extra week. The same goes for postpartum depression and nursing issues. You are not an island , nor are you the first person to have a baby. Seriously, there are counselors and lactation consultants for a reason. Don't be afraid to ask for help, it doesn't mean you're weak or incapable, it means you are human. Bonus on this one, you will more than likely receive help and get to take a shower or nap or whatever it is that you need and you get to practice humility!

2. Make Freezer Meals-

 Before Evelyn joined our family, my mom and I made about 10 different meals and divided them up and froze them. My favorite is the Baked Greek Chicken, because we froze it in individual bags. So, whenever I need a quick lunch or dinner I pull out some chicken and heat it up and we throw it over salads or eat with sweet potatoes. I also joined a freezer meal group at my church. This group is amazing, not only do I leave with 4 completely delicious freezer meals, but I get to enjoy the company of other ladies. I highly suggest joining or starting one of these groups.

3.Mommy friends to the Rescue-

I have been super blessed to have an awesome community of mommy friends. Most of my mom friends are from church but I have also sought out other friends in person and online. I've made friends with some ladies in a cloth diapering group on Facebook (Peace. Love. Applecheeks) and it  has been so nice to have community wherever I am- even during 3am feeding. So, join a mom group in your area and seek out other moms from your church. You won't agree on everything but you're moms and share the love that you have for your children. I will warn you- if you don't have community, you will quite possibly drown. And we all know that husbands are amazing, but they don't necessarily understand the "crazy" the way that another mom will. 

 4. Be Kind to your Husband- 

Even if your hubby doesn't totally get the "momstyle" that is now your life, he is your husband. I've seen and heard a whole lot of husband bashing from tired and stressed out moms. It makes me sad and worried for those families. Your husband is part of the reason you get to be a mom! And if you stay home with your kids it can be easy to take out your stress on your hubs when he gets home ( I'm speaking from experience). I've found though, that my husband loves being a dad. I forget that and try to play parent  all by myself, when in fact, there are two of us. I challenge you just like I am challenging myself to trust your husband and be kind to him. He is your teammate and really in the end, it's not your mommy friends or your parents or other voices of influence that are there with you in the trenches or dugout (whatever bedtime is like at your house). He's your person and he is also the father of your children. Take time to thank him and show him the love and respect that you also want to be shown.

5.Take Time for Yourself- 

this is a big one and is seriously overlooked. Sometimes taking time to yourself looks like getting to take a shower without wondering if the toddler is drawing on the baby with sharpies and sometimes it means going to Target by yourself and drinking a Venti Chai Tea Latte (dreamers gonna dream!). My favorite time to myself activities include: going to the gym, taking a shower, going to check the mail, running errands, watching an episode of something after everyone goes to bed, sewing, writing letters and Bible Journaling. Getting time to yourself only happens during naptime or if you have a someone to take the kiddos off your hands for a bit. So, take the time when you can and let it refresh you. Don't feel guilty when you get time to yourself- you will be better because of it and so will your kids. 

6. Wear all the Babies-

Babywearing has saved me this go around. I wore Judah in my wrap and Ergo carrier quite a bit, but it has been a complete game-changer with a 2nd baby. Putting Evie in my ring sling is about the only way I get Judah down for a nap most days. There are about a million different carriers and it can get confusing to navigate the Babywearing waters, so if you have any questions, please send me a message- I would love to help! 

7. Cherish This Time- 

I know this sounds cliché and a little lofty, but this time with your babies is only going to last a short while, so enjoy it. Take in all the baby snuggles and toddler cuddles. Take the good with the bad. Yes, toddlers are jerks sometimes, but so are adults so you've got to cut them some slack. 

All of these things along with some serious prayer have helped me make this transition to a mother of two. 

I know there are probably some things that I'm leaving out. What helped you make this transition? I'd love to hear your tips! 

Until next time, 

Emily

Here comes Evie!

When I gave birth to my son in February 2015 I spent the majority of the day in labor. Very gentle pains started around 9 am and built throughout the day and around 9:45pm he entered the world. As my due date approached with little Evelyn I assumed that I would have a similar experience.
My mom flew in from Houston on December 3rd and we spent the next 2 weeks doing "jobs". We completed Evelyn's nursery, made freezer meals, washed and sorted all the baby clothes, and did a lot of playing with Judah. Those two weeks zipped by and I was feeling like I was experiencing the shortest pregnancy on record. When you have a toddler life seems to be in fast forward. They grow and change so much every day that it's hard to keep track with other things in your life-especially a pregnancy. With Judah, I counted down the days and rearranged his nursery a million times. Hah! If only I had known then the mess it would become once life started.
As my due date approached I visited my doctor only to find out that at 39 weeks I was showing no signs that labor was near. So, I did what all crazy pregnant women do, I turned to my "ways to induce labor". I made sure to add some extra trips to the Recreation Center, where I walked, planked, and did my squats. (I do a lot of squats when I'm pregnant, this is because I want to have a natural delivery and Ina May, a natural delivery specialists was quoted saying if you do 300 squats a day you will have a very fast delivery! I figure it's worth a shot and even if it doesn't make labor faster, it does help strengthen the muscles that you will use during delivery. I don't do 300, because I think I wouldn't be able to walk back to my car, but I try to do plenty during my pregnancy.) Along with my trips to the gym I added lots of spicy food (enchiladas, chili, and cajun cabbage). I did pay for the food with countless nights of very painful heartburn! All in all, I was feeling pretty good and really not like I was going into labor any time soon.
My dad was scheduled to fly in on the 16th and my due date was the 17th. He arrived around 1 am on Thursday morning. That same morning around 4:30 I woke up to go to the bathroom and had a very painful contraction. I didn't think much of it because a couple of days before I had about an hour's worth of contractions that only lasted an hour and then fizzled out. These were definitely more painful and lasted longer. I was still in denial that these could be the real thing. I started tracking the contractions on my phone and had to get up and walk around. Around 5 am I was dealing with the contractions and suddenly heard Judah crying in his room. He rarely wakes this early and will almost always lay back down and go to sleep. That day it was a different story, he sat up in his bed and was yelling "mommy!". In between some pretty wicked contractions I went to his room and got him up. My dad had woken up and come to get Judah and Josh got up to help. I told Josh I was having contractions, but I was thinking they might go away like the others had. He looked at my contraction counter and said that he thought these were pretty close together. I told him that we were supposed to call the doctor when the contractions were about 10 minutes, He looked at my like I was little crazy because at that point they were about 1-2 minutes apart. Each contraction was so strong that I had to take it on my hands and knees, this position really does help take the pressure off of your hips and back. In between contractions I was scrambling to brush my teeth and get ready to go to the hospital. I decided to call the hotline for my doctor to let them know we were coming. When the operator answered I couldn't even speak my contractions were so strong. I ran out of the room and gave the phone to Josh. I went to the bathroom because the pressure was so strong. He was trying to answer questions and I was shouting answers at him. My mom came in and brought me my shoes and a water proof pad to sit on in the van on the way to the hospital. Josh started telling me that we needed to go right now and at that point I knew I couldn't move. All of the sudden I had a huge contraction and my water broke. I heard Josh tell the doctor that my water had broken and then he stepped out of the doorway. My sweet mom was there beside me prompting me to breath. She had three natural deliveries, two of which were over 9 lbs. The woman is a warrior. I felt the urge to push and when you feel that you can't not push. In a surreal moment I could tell Evelyn was coming and mom knelt beside me to help. After the second push she was in mom's arms. It was such a rush of physical and emotional relief and at this point extreme terror, because I just delivered a baby in my bathroom. Good thing my mom has good hand/eye coordination! Josh stepped back into the doorway, white as a sheet and told the doctor that the baby was here, then he hung up and called 911.
Little Evelyn Elizabeth was here! She cried very loudly and briefly and then looked at me with those dark eyes and such a perfect little head. After only an hour of contractions, she was here. I held her to my chest in the bathtub and waited for the paramedics to arrive.

The Delivery Team- Big Brother Judah, PDaddy, Evie and Nana

This face is pure relief.

I think Josh was hiding his complete shock here.

Judah (22 months) likes Evie for the most part. He calls her by her name and says "aww" and "want to hold you baby." He is a little confused why I can't hold him right now, but he has plenty of good arms with my parents here and Josh. 

About 10 minutes after her arrival a group of the kindest and most helpful men showed up to the doorway of our bathroom. They helped Josh to cut the cord and swaddled Evie up and loaded us into the ambulance. Josh held Evie as they checked her out, noting that her tongue was unusually long (music to a mother's ears, haha). I delivered the placenta en route to the hospital which was uncomfortable, to say the least. When we arrived I held Evie and my sweet husband walked beside the gurney carrying my purse. We made it to the labor and delivery wing of the hospital and everyone had about the same face of surprise and general amusement that she had come so quickly.

Josh is a little scared to have a girl but he is such a wonderful dad!! 

Evelyn weighed in at 8.3lbs and 21 inches and was born on December 17th, her due date. She was perfectly healthy in every way. So much so that we got to leave the hospital the next day. I couldn't believe how good I felt. After having Judah I remember feeling so much discomfort and exhaustion. Since Evie's delivery was so quick I hardly felt like I had given birth! Praise God!

Evie does not cry very much, just enough to let you know she needs something. It's so cool to finally get to know this little person who has been inside of me. 

I am writing this story out in my living room with the Christmas tree lit and Evie sound asleep in the swing. She's amazing. She eats so much and her pediatrician was impressed that she had already gotten back up to her birth weight by her first appointment. Since this is my second time on the newborn express I know a little bit more, but I am shocked at all of the things that I shut out from having Judah. Motherhood is full of excitement and love, but also exhaustion and physical pain. Go, right now and tell your mother that you love her, because she worked hard for you to still be alive right now. I still can't believe that my mom got to catch Evie- Merry Christmas Nana! I'm so excited to share this birth story with you and hope that it does not sound in any way like I'm boasting, because I know that bodies are the way they are. Babies come when they're ready and the rate of delivery varies so much from person to person and baby to baby. God's amazing grace and protection is what got Evelyn safely into the world. How fitting to be celebrating the birth of the King and my Savior while I'm enjoying this precious gift He has given us.
Josh and I have been singing Doxology with Judah at night before bed, so I'll end with these words that hold true.
"Praise God from Whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above, ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."

Merry Christmas!
Love,
Emily

Judah's Birth Day

If I could have planned Judah's birth story I couldn't have chosen better timing or a cooler way for him to enter this big world. It's crazy to think that I've been a mom for almost two weeks. They have been such a blur of 2am feedings and so many chubby cheek kisses.
 I firmly believe that a woman's birth story becomes a part of her identity in a way that is hard to describe. When I was pregnant, every mother I met seemed to tell me their stories. Some were horror stories that became parts of bad dreams and others were inspirational and exciting. But, there isn't really an outlet for women to share their birth stories except for telling other soon to be moms. So, here is my birth story, I feel so compelled to tell it.

During my pregnancy I never experienced Braxton-Hicks contractions so when Saturday morning came around I had no clue what I was feeling, only that I didn't want to get out of bed. It was February 15th I was one day past my due date, but I wasn't anxious. I figured Judah would come late. The day before, my dad decided to drive up and he and my mom and Josh and I spent the day at Hartville Hardware (a giant hardware store that has model homes inside and is attached to a country kitchen and flea market). The day was perfect. I went to bed that night praying that I would go into labor that weekend because my dad would have to leave on Monday and my in laws were coming on Saturday. After waking up around 9, I layed in bed on Saturday morning feeling like I must have eaten something bad because I had an awful stomach ache I got up and told mom I wasn't feeling good. With a sparkle in her eye she said that could be contractions.  I wasn't sure but did notice the feeling was coming and going. The feeling progressed as the morning went on and by the time my in laws got there I was pretty sure Judah was going to arrive that night. The whole family went for a walk in the neighborhood and then Josh took me to the rec center where we walked about 2 miles and kept track of my contractions. When we returned from the walk I was ready to call the doctor.  She told me to come to hospital but before I could get into the car I had to make a peanut butter banana and oatmeal smoothie, finish packing my bag and install the car seat base all in the 4 minutes I had between contractions. When we finally arrived at the hospital it was 6:30 pm and I was 6cm dilated. Amazingly enough the natural birthing suite was just vacated so we got the best room with the side room for family and a sweet hot tub. I had about 2 hours of hanging out with family until some harder contractions started. Around 9:00 I was feeling pretty miserable and decided I was ready to get into the tub. Hydrotherapy is supposed to be a step under medication when it comes to pain relief and since I was having a natural birth, I was so looking forward to getting into the tub!  I was having some pretty strong contractions and Josh was doing a great job rubbing my back during each contraction, then, right as they had the tub full, my water broke and I realized that I couldn't get in! I was pretty bummed, but excited because I knew I had to be close. After my water broke I experienced some of the worse pains of my life. It wasn't that the contractions themselves were agonizing, it was that I wanted to push and because I wasn't fully dilated I was told not to. Instead, I had to breath through them. I hit a wall at this point and told Josh that I couldn't do it, his response, "Well, you don't really have any other options". I love him. Seriously, we didn't take any classes, but we read several books on natural childbirth and he volunteered to be my "coach". He was an amazing coach.
After 20 minutes of hard contractions I was fully dilated and ready to push, unfortunately, my doctor was not there yet. The nurses asked if I wanted to wait, this was so funny to me because I couldn't have waited if I wanted to! So, in a flurry of nurses and residents, they did all the setting up for my little man to come into the world. I will spare you the details, but at 9:45 pm, I had Judah in my arms. My little man! All 7lbs and 11oz. of him. It was such an emotional and physical relief when he was born. Nothing will ever compare to that moment of holding my little blue baby.

Judah, after his bath. 7lbs. 11oz. 19in. 

After having a miscarriage with our first baby, Josh and I prayed so hard for Judah. I felt like everyday that I was still carrying him was such a blessing. And the Lord multiplied our blessings when I was able to give birth naturally and on the day when all our family was here. Judah is healthy and growing so fast. I cannot believe how in love I am with him. This whole experience has been such a blessing.

41 weeks! 

Josh is such a good dad! 

Here is a shot of my mom, Judah and Jewel. Jewel is very concerned for Judah, every time he cries she comes to see if he is okay.

Yesterday, my mom flew back to Birmingham. It was so wonderful having her here and I know I couldn't have survived these past two weeks without her! Mom is part of the reason I wanted to give birth naturally. Having her support and encouragement was amazing.
I hope to post more pictures of Judah soon. I think I've taken about 1,000 pictures of him since his birth day! Thanks for all of the prayers! Love, Emily & Judah! 

Judah's Room

I am nearing my due date and with each day I get more excited about seeing my Judah. I can't imagine the feeling of holding him for the first time! AHH! The thought of  going into labor at this point is no longer scary but exciting, because it is one (extremely grueling) step toward meeting my little man. My mom arrived on February 1st and is planning on staying until the 27th. It has been such a relief having her here! We've done plenty of shopping and preparing for baby. So far we've put together a swing, a "rock 'n play" and a couch. We are women, hear us roar.
I'd like to talk all day about my third trimester of pregnancy and how much I'm ready for this baby to be here, but I'll resist and just show off the nursery.
I had so many ideas for Judah's room, even before I knew he is a he. It is a slightly masculine nursery, but would work well for either sex. If you know me, I am an owl person. When we moved, I felt like every box I opened was stuffed full of owls. I can't help myself! Josh is not an owl person, but by default, Judah will have to love them.

Here is a panoramic shot of the nursery. I went with a woodland animal theme, mostly playing off of the colors in the bedding. The banner is a little hard to read, but it is burlap squares with fabric letters and it says Judah. The rocking chair is from an antique market in Berlin, OH and only cost me $15! The rug is from Ikea. 

This little cube shelf was purchased from Ikea the day after Thanksgiving and only cost me $20!  Lamp and sitting owl are from Target. 

Now, this part of the nursery I'm not too proud of... it's a mess and I'll be honest, I've rearranged it probably 30 times. My diaper stash lives here and mostly in my basement. Look at the amount of clothing this child already has! He'll never be naked! 

I should have photographed these before I put them in frames but here is my makeshift nursery art. I looked all around Etsy for the perfect artwork for the nursery, but surprisingly enough found these at Ikea! I tore these pictures out of a book I found in the children's textile section! Overall, the artwork cost me about $3 (the price of the book, because I already had frames).

The bedding is from Target and animals are from Ikea.

The pillow here is from Target $ aisle! I was so excited to find something that matched so perfect! 

No buckeye baby should be deprived of their very own Brutus doll and of course, another owl! 

Here is my Pintrest inspiration! I bought spice racks from Ikea and had Josh stain them and voila! bookshelves. 

This quilt is a Vera Higgins original. Most talented crafter ever.

This woman is a magician with all fabric! This is the front of the quilt. 

Here is the crib (Target) and the mobile! I'm really proud of this adorable mobile. Mom and I used different pieces I had lying around to make this.

The owls here were crocheted by my friend Leigh Anne and the fabric wreath was made by one of my honorary mothers,  Katsy.

Painting by Valerie ( I love this and I have a hard time not crying when I think about it). 

Prayer for baby artwork from my Grannie and Papa.

I had such a good time putting this room together, and I love that it really isn't that different from the rest of the house (except cleaner). Now that I have everything ready to go, I'm just counting down to BABY!
Love, Emily