Un-Me Burrito

It is funny how the Lord chooses to show you His path. I want trumpets and a red carpet, but instead the Lord shows me that He is the path. What a crazy concept. You think I would have gathered this idea through His whole "I am the Way.." speech, but no, most things fall out of my head. Praise God that He has mercy on me and allows me to learn about His ways despite my own blindness. This week I completely lost it, and when I say "it", I mean my mind. It was gone. I was sitting at my dining room table crying and embarrassed and wondering "why me?!" (this is a favorite of my pitiful cries). I was in a place where I saw the rest of my life going a certain way and it scared me. My whole crisis was surrounding a decision that I thought would trap me for the rest of my pitiful, "why me?!" life. Although my chicken little moment ended pretty shortly after my sweet husband took me to get ice cream, I still sat in this place of not knowing. I think this place is where the Lord is the sweetest. He met me there and answered my silly question, "because you are Mine and I made you to glorify Me".
What a beautiful answer. I am His. I forget this when I get caught up in working to buckle up and try harder and win salvation. He takes me out of the miry clay and shows me that it's not what I do in grad school that will make me better or happier, but instead it's abiding in Him. Oh abiding. I just imagine myself as the filling in a wonderfully warm and fluffy Lord-tortilla, completely surrounded, where you can't even really tell that I'm in there. You take a bite and only the tortilla makes its presence known. That's the place I want to stay. In my deliciously un-me burrito. Praise God.

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This week I decided to change my application for grad school from Spanish education to Elementary Ed. I'm so excited. After almost a year of working with 2-5 year old kids, I cannot wait to teach students that can go potty and tie their shoes! This year has showed me how amazing kids are. Their little minds are so ready for knowledge! My two-year-olds love learning Spanish words and I look forward to incorporating Spanish into my Elementary school lessons.
 Well, this is my week in a nut-shell. Kind of Crazy! I feel so satisfied in the Lord, because I finally trusted Him. I didn't get trumpets, but I'll take it! I hope that you're loving on people today!
love, e

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